Just a stay at home mom.

What is it with women of this generation? I cannot express the amount of disappointment that I feel when I hear the words, "I am just a stay at home mom."

Really? You can do better than that. Only a stay at home mom? It is made to sound like Dobby the house elf on Harry Potter. It is said with such negative connotation that I almost believe that it is perceived to be true. It bothers me and quite frankly, it is crap.

A few days ago I went into a restaurant. A gentleman and I were having a wonderful breakfast, in a great atmosphere, and partaking in excellent conversation. The waitress was a very pleasant woman and carried a smile that showed pure confidence. I quickly picked up on what confidence must have been there and so I asked the question, "What was your job before this one?" I fully expected an answer, drawn out with long years of courageous experience in a  long career in customer service. All because she had a style that fit into what my perception of a superior customer service representative, achieving the highest honors, would be.

At this point, and to my astonishment, her head lowered, her shoulders buckled, and her breath shortened. It was almost like someone told her that Fluffy the cat just died. Whatever confidence she had coming to our table to make sure we had what we needed deflated like a balloon hit by a needle. The air didn't go out slowly, it burst. Her head low, her pride gone, she was broken by one simple question, "What was your job before this one?" If I had known this question would draw the wind out of her sail in such a way, I would never had asked. I couldn't believe that she felt her previous job was not worthy enough to mention to a couple of men, having breakfast, and drinking coffee.

The waitress, deflated by the question, answered, "I was just a stay at home mom for the past few years until all of my children went into school. They are all in school now, so I got a job."

Wow. While I applaud her for getting a job, what she failed to realize is she had one all along. Perhaps it's a Soldiers perspective, perhaps not. "So I got a job." My instant reply could not have been more direct as I said, "You mean you went on vacation." Her head cocked with obvious confusion as to how this is a vacation. She looked at me, straight in the eyes - there's that confidence again, and asked, "I went on a vacation?"

Now, understand, I prop my wife up on a throne. This amazing person took care of my children, got her Master's degree, and became the person she thought the world would respect. My wife accomplished this during a very long year of me being deployed into a combat zone. Before I left, she moved in order to find a sustainable household far away from where we were stationed. She was left in charge of picking out our home. She was in charge of getting our children into school. She was, pure and simple, in charge - and she was "Just a stay at home mom."

My reply to the "Just a stay at home mom" went something like this:

YES - you were working something between 14 to 18 hours a day as a planner, organizer, cook, maid, driver, therapist, receptionist, executive, executive assistant, and all the while making sure you still had time for friends, family, and shopping. Oh, and by the way, who balanced the checkbook? Deposited the money? Paid bills? Paid allowances? Recorded records for taxes? Punished? Praised? Oh, you? So to top it off, you were an accountant, financial planner, records manager, tax preparation manager, payroll, and human resource manager? Who fixed the boo-boos? The cuts, bumps, scrapes, bruises? Who held the puke bucket? Pulled the hair back from the toilet? Cleaned up the diarrhea? Oh, you? So you were, on top of that, the emergency medical respondent too?

So how is it, while doing this in the span of 14 to 18 hours a day, sometimes more, sometimes less, 7 days a week, for 9 straight years, were you "Just a stay at home mom?" And therefore yes, you are on vacation.

This is where I just don't understand. When is it that women lose their confidence and self worth enough that when they respond with something as massively important as the job of "mom" they feel ashamed? Even more, when "Just a stay at home mom" is interviewing for a job and they list on a resume or an application they have no prior experience, they don't mention the years of experience that being "Just a stay at home mom" carries with it? If I was interviewing a "Just a stay at home mom" and her reply was any shorter than that of a CEO's, I would question the kind of people that have been supporting this woman for the past however many years. So, I say to all you "Just a stay at home moms" out there, B.S. Take pride in what amazing things you have accomplished during your tenure as the Chief Executive Officer. Your industry might very well be the toughest on the market. And you are certainly more than "Just a house elf."